Nonna Nina was my mother’s mom. She was a great part of all our lives and left us in 2006 to fly to heaven. When you lose someone you are close to you never know when those strong memories might just hit. Last weekend Harry and I were out to eat for our date night. My chair directly faced a table of three women, clearly 3 generations. It reminded me of my mom, my Nonna, and I. While it brought back a moment of sadness for not having her around with my mom and I, I then thought how blessed this woman in her 30’s was to have her mom and her grandma in her life and how blessed we were to have her until 92. She was a mom, a grandma (Nonna) and a Great-Nonna. I was blessed to have her see both Kira and Clayton before she left us just two years after Kira's birth.
When Kira arrived my Mom and Dad brought Nonna to Riverside Hospital to see Kira. We had so many visitors – it was exhausting but nice to know so many people cared. Everyone came in to ew and ah over the new baby as I drifted in and out of sleepiness from the medication, the waking every 1-2 hours and just being a new mom. It didn’t really matter – the baby was the entertainment, the show, so to speak, and I was happy to show her off. Then Nonna rolled in to meet Ms. Kira…as she held Kira she looked up at me and said in her strong Sicilian accent:
“How’s-a the momma? Everyone-a asks-a hows’a baby and nobody asks – a hows’a momma?”
How am I? I don’t think I even knew. I hadn’t really had time to think about or process it.
It sounds silly but it was such a touching moment for me and one that plays again in my mind when I have new mommies around me…
Next she asked me “what’s a baby-a name” I responded “Kira Alessandra”. “Earah? Italian people cannot say Earah? I will call her Alessandra” uhh…okay (internal giggle of I think it’s up to the parents)
Then 17 months later came baby Clay Clay. Clay came 2 weeks early, courtesy of Gestational Diabetes and sugar that just didn’t want to cooperate…not mention he was getting on the larger side and I was potentially going to birth a toddler if he cooked for 2 more weeks. Clayton arrived on July 1st, weighing 9’2. Large but not gigantic like the history of my family (cough, Adam, cough Ryan).
He did however have one trait that really stuck out…his hands. His hands were enormous. In fact when Nonna arrived to see him all she said was “looka at the handsa they so biggg!” over and over again as she held them out and turned them from side to side to catch the view. She could not believe his hands and to this day I remember that when I see handprints at school next to the other kids…
As we adjusted to being parents of children 17 months apart, I loved to take the babies to see Nonna at her Assisted Living Unit. It was like we were the “filmed on location” reality show for all the other residents. The other residents would stare at us and in a “whisper” would tell each other what was going on …play by play “The mother has given the baby a bottle. The mother has said they went to the store….etc etc”. We continued on with our visit like we weren’t the subject of conversations for everyone else in the room.
Kira loved to sit next to Nonna and Clayton was too young to know anything of what was going on so I just held him and tried to keep him happy. Then a night or so after one of our visits I got a call that Nonna had fallen. She had Dementia and she failed to use her walker when she got out of bed. I knew, at her age, falling wasn’t good, breaking hips was even worse. Why was she up? Was she trying to use the restroom? Was she confused? Why? Why? Why? Then I found out.
Nonna thought she heard the baby crying. She was trying to find him and get to him and she fell. I felt so bad and so sad. She was trying to find my baby and she had a devastating fall. I still feel guilty though I know it wasn’t something we were responsible for, you know her love as the Nonna and the horrible impacts of Dementia caused this confusion. Nonna never really bounced back from that fall and in early 2006 we lost her.
I like to keep her stories going and her voice in my head. My mom and dad helped with that and fulfilled a request I had - she made a build a bear with her voice taped on it saying "Your Nonna Nina loves you". Earlier this year the battery on the bear died when Kira tried to take it to show and tell. Huge tears fell and my dad (O'Pa to Kira) couldn't stand to see that happen. He flew into action and had the battery replaced and found a way to restore the voice -this time having Build a Bear make a back up so there was one in each hand.
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